Well, if you are criticizing a person, then the rest of the team may not need to hear it. For example, if the person consistently makes sloppy mistakes, that's a conversatin that is better had in private. If you're just saying there's a typo on that slide, that's a correction of somebody's work not a critisim of somebody, and fine to do in public. If it's a debate about an idea that obviously needs to be in public. But a debate is very different than criticism in my mind.
I agree it does seem ridiculous to say remember you are talking to a person :) But people forget all the time, and that is why they often say things in an overly harsh way.
If you are talking to a person, it must be personal, but it doesn't have to personalize. If you say, I think that's wrong, and that is something somebody has worked on for a long time, they will take it personally so it is personally. But you haven't personalized--saying you're wrong or you're always wrong is personalizing unnecessarily.
If you want I'll send you about 10 pages I've written on this stuff--would love your reaction, it's very helpful!
I agree it does seem ridiculous to say remember you are talking to a person :) But people forget all the time, and that is why they often say things in an overly harsh way.
If you are talking to a person, it must be personal, but it doesn't have to personalize. If you say, I think that's wrong, and that is something somebody has worked on for a long time, they will take it personally so it is personally. But you haven't personalized--saying you're wrong or you're always wrong is personalizing unnecessarily.
If you want I'll send you about 10 pages I've written on this stuff--would love your reaction, it's very helpful!