I can totally understand why individuals with substance abuse problems give up in their early 50's and commit suicide, as I personally have felt this tug at times.
It is very difficult, both emotionally and financially, to look back at a life of wrecked relationships and blown opportunities and not feel an intense disgust with yourself and a deep fear about the future.
Also, there is simply no place for you in society anymore. In your 50's, you are almost completely judged by your status in life; your house, your cars, your relationships...someone fighting addiction for 30 years will have little to none of this.
Even super close old friends eventually give up on you and stop returning calls.
I often say these days the only real regrets I have in life is hurting those who loved me due to my substance abuse lifestyle.
It is very difficult, both emotionally and financially, to look back at a life of wrecked relationships and blown opportunities and not feel an intense disgust with yourself and a deep fear about the future.
Also, there is simply no place for you in society anymore. In your 50's, you are almost completely judged by your status in life; your house, your cars, your relationships...someone fighting addiction for 30 years will have little to none of this.
Even super close old friends eventually give up on you and stop returning calls.
I often say these days the only real regrets I have in life is hurting those who loved me due to my substance abuse lifestyle.